Stream of Consciousness Recap is a feature where we just tell you about a hilarious book or movie as if we were in a bar and you, dear reader, asked “Wait, what is that book about?” and then we blabbed on for a half hour. There will be ultimate spoilers so read on with caution and enjoy!
So. There’s this girl Wendy. The book starts “Eleven Years Ago”, when Wendy is celebrating a birthday party that she “didn’t even want” when she was a little girl. She’s being a brat and throwing a tantrum, and hates all her gifts. Her mom hates her and is depressed because their dad died, how we don’t know. Her mom freaks out at one point and is all “You killed my child, you were supposed to a boy, you’re not mine!” and grabs a knife and wants to kill her. Wendy’s older brother walks in and I think saves her.
Flash forward 11 years…Wendy has moved to YET ANOTHER new town with her Aunt Maggie and her brother Matt. We don’t know what has happened to the mom. Wendy is all surly, and has never been able to make friends, and it seems that most people in general don’t like her. She has unruly brown curly hair, brown eyes, and is short and very pretty. She admits this about herself which surprises me because you know how annoying female characters in YA books always think they are plain or ugly but everyone else in the world thinks that they are hot shit? Well this girl just straight up knows she’s hot which I am down with.
So she’s at this new school because she keeps getting kicked out of schools on account of how unlikable she is. There is also a new guy at this school named Finn who is hot but also creepy, which offsets his attractiveness. Finn is always staring at Wendy.
There is a semi formal at the school, and Wendy decides to go to her Aunt Maggie off her back, why I don’t know. Wendy wears a short blue dress and goes. Oh, also here are some details about Wendy that we randomly learn: she hates wearing shoes, she only likes to eat all natural foods, and is sort of a vegan. Also she is learning that she can control other people’s actions by thinking really hard at them, like “Please don’t send me to the Principal’s office, please don’t send me to the Principal’s office” and then people will be like, “Duuuuh…okaaaay”.
Anyway, Wendy goes to this semi-formal and who shows up but hot-weirdo Finn! He asks her to dance and then immediately starts tearing her a new a–hole, telling her that her dancing sucks and that he’s embarrassed of her or some crap. Wendy’s all “Wtf”, and runs off. Finn feels bad and tries to follow her, but Wendy is too quick for him and talks to this kid and mind controls him into giving her a ride home. Finn says “How did you do that, what did you just do?!” and she’s all “Nothing, okay, god!” and runs off.
Finn shows up at her bedroom window (on the second floor) in the middle of the night and she lets him in because he is hot. He basically just starts telling her all this crazy stuff like “You are a changeling”, “I will never lie to you” and “You are a troll”. Wendy is like, WHAT this guy is crazy but also SO HOT, so I will probably just keep listening to him so that I can just watch his hot face talk. Finn is all “THINK ABOUT IT: you have crazy brown hair, you have brown eyes, you don’t like wearing shoes, you are always cranky and have never really belonged anywhere. You are sort of a vegan”. Wendy, thankfully, finds this all hard to believe, but once again his x-treme hotness keeps her from throwing his crazy ass out. She’s like “Ok fine I’m a troll from the tribe Trylle or something…so what now?” and he’s like “Well now you come with me and hang out with your people, some of whom are colored a slight green”. Wendy says “Whaaaaat, are you crazy?! Has this worked before on other people?” and Finn is like *shrug* “Yeah?” and is all confused that she won’t go with him. Also she is using her powers too fast, her telekinesis, and is…SHOCKER…special and has very strong abilities that are manifesting earlier than usual. Wendy’s all, you are nuts, get out, gooddaysir.
Then the next day Wendy wakes up and looks at baby pictures because she is like “Can it be true? Am I a troll?”. Her aunt catches Wendy looking at pictures and tells her that her mom hated her and couldn’t be bothered to give her a name, so her brother named her Wendy because he was into Peter Pan at the time. Then her aunt tells Wendy that she can talk to her about boys, just not when her brother is around. Oh, her brother is weirdly protective of her sister and obsessed and seems sort of jealous about her love life. I swear if this goes the way of City of Bones I am gonna be pissed.
Until next time!