It was announced earlier this month that Cosmopolitan magazine, the world’s best selling magazine for young women, is extending its glorious handjob-giving tentacles into the Middle East. This announcement follows quick on the heels of the first issue of the Cosmo Mongolian edition, which launched in December of last year.
I’m actually pretty excited to see how Cosmo’s sex tips translate in the new editions, especially those about what to do if your man “blasts off without you” when you are trying to climax together. Or, the PA ultimate favorite, did you know that he is “dying for you to explore the area between his but and his balls?” And I’m sure the “10 Sex Cravings ALL Guys Have” is exactly the same from culture to culture, right? Will the Cosmo Kama Sutra iPhone app with its sex position of the day (think “Passion Propeller” and “Sexual Seesaw”) be promoted as heavily on the new websites as it is on the US magazine website?
One can only assume that Cosmo will have to radically alter its approach in the Middle Eastern edition, or the writers will surely face an eternity of drinking oozing pus in hell (you are welcome to google that last little tidbit, but get ready to happen upon some very interesting websites).
I find it amazing that Cosmo has managed to use the same recycled-to-within-an-inch-of-lunacy sex tips for what seems like forever. However, their approach has paid off! They have the highest circulation of any fashion, beauty, or any other magazine aimed at women ages 18-35. More people read Cosmo every month (3.04 million) than Glamour (no. 2 on the list) and Vogue (no. 4) combined. PA ladies have had more than our fair share of fun reading Cosmo aloud and mocking it’s absolutely crazy advice. In fact, we wouldn’t take a weekend away without the recent issue of Cosmo to make fun of, but do the rest of the 3 million readers view the entire magazine as a terrible and amazing joke?
The good news is that Cosmo Middle East will be an English-language edition so we can understand someday it when we hopefully get our hands on one. It turns out that not even Hearst executives know what is published in their foreign language editions because they just pick one every once in a while to have translated in to English.
I am dying of curiosity.