Spring Flat Report = Grim

flat report = grim

Spring is sooooort of upon us, and so the need for spring footwear is also soooooort of upon us. It is no longer the season where our feet are trapped in their sock and shoe prisons. Be free, feet! However, the problem that I am encountering is a season of wretchedly boring flats.

There are some clear trends that have emerged this season, which fall vaguely into the categories of:

  • d’Orsay – best of the bunch, but too open for varying, soggy spring weather
  • espadrille – cute, but they only work for people who are vaguely beachy and/or french
  • bulbous and/or bowed, and sometimes with elastic (yuck!) – for sprightly people and/or the very old or very young
  • orthopedic – again for the very old or very young
  • has cats/bunnies on it – once again, for the sprightly or very old or very young
  • other – all those oxfords are in this category. While cute, they do not excite me.

Have these shoes NO ELEGANCE or DIGNITY? Are they for children? Who can wear these to work and feel like an adult?

Now, I think I have just picked some average versions of these shoes. I was going for a better than average version of them. They are all from shopbop because I’m feeling uninspired to search multiple sites for examples of shoes that I don’t find exciting. I have already wasted far too many hours doing such things. Can someone please tell me WHY flats are so boring!?!? I would even drop mucho $ for the perfect pair, but even in the expensive range they are still just ok!

1. Jenni Kayne Croc Embossed d’Orsay Flats, $495.  2. Soludos Classic Striped Espadrilles, $43.  3. Matt Bernson Stripes & Sequins x Matt Berson Waverly Flats, $165.  4. 3.1 Phillip Lim Floreanna Peep Toe, $550.  5. Stuart Weitzman Kittycat Jeweled Flats, $365.   6. Anniel Soft Structure Oxfords, $163.

Welcome to the assortment of shoes that I don’t care about. Ugh. Spring has barely sprung, but you guys, I heard summer is going to be AMAZING.