I Want to Sparkle From the Waist Down (And No I Don’t Mean Vajazzling)

The other day I was la la la clicking around the internet when I came upon an article of clothing that was like a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds on a dreary winter day:

AAAAAAH! (angels singing)  Isn’t it magical?  Can you imagine bringing this level of daytime sparkle into your life?  Just a chill maxi skirt, no big deal, but with those charcoal colored sequins, that tan belt and the chill American Apparel like tee, what!  You will look like a princess.  Imagine, you are going out but UGH what to wear, you want to look cute and somewhat fancy but not like you tried too hard.  TADA TADA, sequin maxi to the rescue with a simple tank!  Or you want to look fab but don’t like any of your dresses.  Sequin maxi plus silk button down and chunky bracelets, done and done.

I was like YES I WILL SELL MY FIRST BORN CHILD FOR THIS, and then I saw the price.  You guys.  $2,500.00.  TWENTY FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS.  Am I high??  Yes this skirt is fab but was it sewn by unicorns and is it made of fairy dust and angel wings?  Because I’m sorry J.Crew but I have to say…who do you think you are?  You are a MALL store.  Your prices are, in my opinion, already out of hand, but this really takes the cake.  How dare you make something so glorious and then price it so far out of everyone’s price range that the only person who will ever be able to afford this is like, someone boring like Kirstin Dunst.  NOT OK.

Have you guys seen skirts like this elsewhere?  I saw a few on Etsy but they were just not the same.  I am now on a quest.  Please join me!  We will sparkle from the waist down together while flipping J.Crew the bird.

You can not afford this skirt at J.Crew.com.

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